Laugh your socks off or just groan at the jokes ?

Great Collection of Clean Jokes

Financial Market Jokes

Knives were up sharply.

Paper was stationary.

Pencils lost a few points.

Light switches were off.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.

Cows steered into a bull market.

Hiking equipment was trailing.

Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.

Helium was up, feathers were down.

Weights were up in heavy trading.

Light switches were off.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom.

Diapers remained unchanged.

Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.

The market for raisins dried up.

Coca Cola fizzled.

Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.

Sun peaked at midday.

Balloon prices were inflated.

Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.

And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market

The Brown's invited their new neighbours the Smiths over to dinner. During dinner Mr Brown asked Mr Smith what he did for a living.

4 year old Billy Smith jumped in and said

" Daddy is a fisherman!"

To which Mrs Smith replied" Billy why do say that? Your daddy is a stock broker not a fisherman."

"No Mum. Every time we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish."