Laugh your socks off or just groan at the jokes ?

Great Collection of Clean Jokes

Jokes 1 - Jokes 2 - Jokes 3 - Jokes 4 - Jokes 5

Fun Competitions

Chat-up lines guaranteed to work

or maybe not

Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

Are you a parking ticket

cuz you got fine written all over you

If I had one chance to rearrange the alphabet,

I would put U and I together.

Do you have a map?

Because I keep getting lost in your eyes

Where you arrested earlier?

It's gotta be illegal to look that good?

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south?

I hope you know CPR cuz you take my breath away

Is your dad a thief?

because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

You know, I ain't this tall.

I'm just sitting on my wallet.

Hi the voices in my head told me to come talk to you.

There is something wrong with my cell phone.

It doesn't have your number in it.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

I guess u can kiss heaven goodbye

cuz it has got to be a sin to look that good

Do u have a quarter?

I told my mom id call her when I fell in love

Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven.

What to do on your first date

Dating Conversation Tips

Three Keys To Wonderful Dating Experience

Socialize this page

If you have a great chat-up line

put it in the comment box below

(Girls we want your chat up lines as well)

Chat-up lines sent in by you

i thought i was fit but damn gurl your out this world

(one great breathless moment)

how about a good old hello :)

(OK I suppose but you not what I mean?)

You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

(ouch ! )

Ur looks are ur weapon and they've cut me to bits.

(brilliant ! )

do you believe in love at first sight??..or would u like me to walk by again

(been said below but good enough to repeat twice)

I Have Skittles In My Mouth...

Wanna Taste The Rainbow??

(Ugh ! Too sweet for my taste)

"Do you work for royal mail?" I was just admiring your package

(All I can say is, that is different)

Excuse me but can i ask you a question? what would you do if you saw your dream girl in real life

(Sweet)

Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

(Different ?!)

How about one in Spanish for the Hispanic ladies out there:
Me gusta el mar,
Me gusta la briza,
Pero mas me gusta,
Tu bella sonrisa!
"I like the sea, I like the breeze, but what I like most is your beautiful smile" - guaranteed to work some magic!

(Mágico - Viva España !)

I'm fighting the desire to make you the happiest woman on earth

(nice one)

I may not be Lilly Allen but I can sure make you smile. : I'm not James Blunt but I think your beautiful

(a great double whammy)

I have a pen, you have a phone number… think of the possibilities... like my gr8 chat up line sum guy used it on me last week...

god made butter god made cheese
god also made me for u to squeeze.

(nice bit of poetry)

am gona buy you a pink castle

(now that is different)

I have only three months to live

(Bound to get lots of giggles this one)

I'm thinking of a number between 0 and 1234567891011, what is it? (other person guesses)
Okay, I'll tell you, mine's 073656788918 (phone number), what's yours? .... LOL, that's a wicked line. Some dude used it on me last night. Made me laugh for ages

wow !
(So simple!)

Is it hot in here? Or is it just you? Girl giggles then say u must be the real reason for global warming!

(very topical again)

have i ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen? in fact, every time i gaze upon them i think i'm looking into the eyes of angel, but i realise, i am.

(you'll have her blushing)

its a crime 2 look that fine

(a very short romantic poem)

I wish I could be a tear so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks and die on your lips

(that's so incredibly romantic!!!)

i think these are brilliant, here's 1 of mine.
IF YOU WERE A BEAN I WOULD EAT YOU

(isn't that sweet)

Your like the air i breathe, I just can't live without you

(great acting skills needed here)

did you fall from heaven, because god's missing an angel

(who could ever resist that)

ello cheeky! haven't i come across your face before?

(nice one)

When im good...Im good...But when im bad...Im better!

(what more can one say !)

what's 2+2? answer: 4.....so your smart and beautiful

(she might be smarter than you think)

i got a better one... say, "your sister is better"

(what if she finds your brother better?)

I noticed you noticing me.. and I wanted to give you notice, that I noticed you too.

(good one)

Is your name Cinderella ? Coz i seem to have found your slipper, I'm prince charming

(for those who believe in fairy tale romance)

you look nice tonight

(sincere compliments always seem to work)

'Your going to have to buy me a drink?!', 'What for?' She replies 'I dropped mine when I looked at you...'

(Not bad and you might get a free drink as well)

get your coat your pulled

(Male dominance might work if she isn't into feminism)

I've been so unlucky in life, maybe you can help me get my confidence back.

(Sorry, can't see that working at all)

Do you use Mastercard? Because with that kind of beauty, you must take all the credit!

(Maybe ?)

God must be a brilliant sculptor - after all, He broke the mould when he made you.

(Nice one)

can i borrow your library card...

cause i wanna check u out

(might work for studious and academic types)

I didn't believe in love, until i met you

(Ummm ? Ok I suppose)

Your dad must be a terrorist, coz u blow my mind away!

(Very topical)

To the world you may be but one person, but to one person you may be the world.

(Now that's romance!)

i like you

(Plain, simple and uncomplicated)

have yu got a plaster? cuz i hurt my knee falling for you ='( x

(What more can one say !)

sorry i can't meet u no more the doctor told me i'm diabetic and i cant stand sweet things like u

(Nice one !)

if you were a McDonalds burger you'd be Mc Gorgeous!

(Yum Yum, be careful she might be a Veggie)

bet you don't eat pedigree chum because you don't look like a dog grrrrrrgh

(More primal instincts to flatter a lady)

i used to hate donkeys until i checked out your ass eeeeeorrrrgh

(Very primal)

well hello baby what are you doing for the rest of your life

(Just maybe she'll be hot on your heels)

hey chicky babe how do you fancy getting lucky tonight

(Grooovyyy!)

Your initials must be TNT, cause your a bomb

(You will have her in the palm of your hands)

if a girl refuses you, reply'' i don't know why you are being so fussy, i'm certainly not''

(Phew ! You sure know how to burn all your bridges)

If u get kidnapped this Christmas don't worry, it's Santa, cos I asked for you this Christmas

(More seasonal romance)

hey you!!...yeah you, lets go...now!!

(Ummm?, don't give her time to think strategy)

if beauty was a rain drop you would be the ocean

(Really nice)

i love you soooooooooo much i cried

(Love or obsession, it just might(not) work)

I DROPPES SUMTIN...MY JAW!!!!....*(".)

(Yes, passable)

let ya know monday am out on the pull saturday !!

(that's no way to treat a lady)

Is it hot in here or is it you?

(Wow !)

Love is war ... but I'm your soldier

(Different, new angle)

if I was made of wax, your smile would make me melt!

(Very surreal !)

you haven't seen the keys to my Mercedes have you?? i was sure i left them next to my private jet keys which were directly adjacent to my beach front mansion keys!

(Sure, but would she believe you?)

If you want a carrot, its yours. If you want 24 carrots, keep on walking lady!!

(For all misers out there)

did you leave it tidy when you left??

(where tidy??)

heaven :P

(for those who like a neat home)

you look like a wart.

but your really starting to grow on me!

(Nope, can't see that working at all)

you must be Jamaican cuz ur Jamaican me crazy!!!

(Reggae lovers?)

(put arm around a girl and point to another girl) see that girl over there, she's pretty hot isn't she?

(A bit of manipulation hey ?)

IF I SAID U HAD A NICE BODY WOULD YA HOLD IT AGAINST ME ;-D

(Very 80's, OK for older folks)

Hey, babe, you have more curves that a race track

(Wow !)

u must be a light switch cz u turnin me on

(So, So)

You forgot something! What? Me!

(So, So)

what is the first thing that comes to ur mind when you hear the word beautiful?

cos the first thing that comes to my mind is you xx

(True romance, that's what we like to see)

do you eat kellogs frostys coz ur bringin out the tiger in meee gggrr

(Woooo, take it easy now)

do you believe in love at first sight.....

or do i have to walk past again?.

(Like it, Like it)

is your name Gillette ?

because your the best a man can get

(So, So)

Can i hav ur picture? because i need to show santa what i want for christmas

(very seasonal but hey !)

"Why Do Yuu Spend So Much Money On Make-Up?... Yuu Look A Million Dollars Already"

(This might just work)

your gonna lose yr numbr-so yd btr av mine

oo la la

(Flattery works every time)

is your name Loreal cus your worth it

(might work at a pinch)

you'll do

(Come on now, she deserves better than that)

girl u so fine..u so fine...u blow my mind...yea girl

(for those hip-hop and cool dudes)

when god made you he was only showing off

(Nice one)

do uu know that show, stars in ur eyes, it was named after for uu!

There is something wrong with my phone could u ring it for me to see if it rings.

is ur dad an alien cuz u are outta this world

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my own garden forever.

(Very romantic)

Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

(A little too arrogant but you never know ?)

u should be arrested.. cos you stole my heart Xx tza

how much does a polar bear weigh?

well its enough to break the ice my name is james.

are u an angel cuz i tink im in heaven

i've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

(Not likely to work unless she's had a bit to drink and thinks the same)

You with those curves, and me with no brakes

(Workable)

So, do you live round here or are you local?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

(self confidence goes a long way, I think ?)

is your name jacob ? cus ur a cracker

(for the girls this one)

i think i saw you in the dictionary next to woohoo

(Woohoo!)

there must be something wrong with my eyes because i cant take them off u.

I think you forgot to drop something.

What?

You forgot to drop me a line, here's my phone number

Are you tired?

Because you've been running through my mind all night.

8 Deadly Dating Mistakes To Avoid!

Flirting And Body Language When Dating

7 Habits Of Highly Successful Dating

Comments

Most wouldn't work in a month of Sunday's but damn they are funny

**FOR THE GIRLS**

i used these lines in a pub the other night and got really lucky with a fit lad! thanks so much! you have changed my life! luv Barbara

**FOR THE GIRLS**

i don't even think Phil Collins is a good drummer

Lol, some r really good, but a few r rubbish. Worked for me tho. Thx!

**NICE ONE**

I think they are really funny...its a good way to make a girl laugh and start talking to her...ok...in fairness...some of them are slightly rubbish...go for the funny ones if any!!! - I would laugh if a guy used them on me :P

**NICE ONE**

It's a lot - It's a lot!

**APPLAUSE PLEASE**

man whoeva came up with these is a legend

**APPLAUSE PLEASE**

I fink da best way 2 chat up a girl is just a simple, "hi" or "wanna drink?" and just b yaself

Love Them :) x

these mixed with alcohol are a dangerous mix.. be wary! i ended up wit melted chocolate and a 15st 45yr old woman on my chest...

SO FUNNY Y WOULD I USE DEM I JUS LOOK WI MY CHARM :P

I Thought Most Of Em Were Brill (y)

mayzin this site - made my love - i'm married now.

>>>>Congratulations<<<<

If used at the right time by the right person on the right person, they might work. But honestly, there mostly just for a laugh (:

erm dey wer wack,aint no man on road gunna pull gyal wiv dat kinda nonsense

There r some bad man chat up lines butden u got the rasclut chat up lines the people wid the bad chat up lines u need to move n coz u lot r waste raggar to all da bad man chat up lines i lyked dem

can i just say i was depressed till i read this page -
awesome man and they work;)

There Great Lol

the lines were rubbish but the comments below had me in stitches

u don't need a chat up line. just be u.

**COOL**

de gd 1s show a guys confidence & sense of humour! & dey break de ice & show a grl dat shes worth de xtra effort nt lik “hi” & make de grl do all de wrk

**COOL**

Confidence is what works. I use lines sometimes, if used right they're a great conversation starter. If used wrong, well nothing ventured nothing gained.

to all you people that said these are useless and people have no lives etc. . . you obviously took the time to 'have no life' and read them. it all depends on the person and the situation as to whether they work.!

when used in the right context they can show that a guy has a sense of humour, which is always a bonus if you ask me

omg my ex said the 'have you got a map' the eye one, i just laughed :s :p

these are quite funny to use if you've been together a while and can joke about stuff like that :p - other than that useless!!!

to be honest i do use them a lot but i only use them in order to make a girl laugh, that's all you need =]

tbh i really dnt think u should say stuff lyk this 2 girls bcuz with em u want more than a 1 night stand and thats all u will get with these lines if ya lyk a girl do it properly

chat up lines don't work... just be urself and confident the way ud be wid ur mates! she won't bite trust me lol

Chat up lines don't work, girls have got to be already thinking he's fit to have a chance, they won't throw their drink over you.

just talk 2 her!! don't use all this cheesy rubbish!

CORNY! but hey if they work 4 u....lawl

Haha. Some of them are corny, but also funny. And some would totally earn you a punch or slap right on the cheek.

these are funny and some of them work but now my best friend loves me which creeps me out a little xD anyway this is good and has a nice variety of lines <(^^<)

to all u girls who think chat up lines dnt work, they do work, they just have to be said in the correct context, never let me down yet :P ! JM !

i scored with a fit bird called jade thanks

i did use the "you'll do" once but i just gotta slap - they are quite fun to use tho

I used them all on one girl and she's now a man

**BEWARE**

dey got me dumped don't use dem!!!

**BEWARE**

Very good!! I'll be using the Women to Men ones of these !! *(".)

Loved the page its great

i feel so much smarter after reading some of these. And they say learning isn't any fun.

mate, they killed me, hilarious, actually hilarious.

hey I'm only 15 but the girls in my school love em

If A Guy Used One Of These On Me. - I'd Laugh In His Face. - Chat Up Lines Don't Work. - Just Keep Glancing Over At Her If You're Too Scared To Go Over. - Jeez. - xo Amyy

pretty funny

nice tbh but get quite awful lol still they work

**STAR COMMENT**

Some r gud but some men r just too big headed

**STAR COMMENT**

wats rong with the plain old HI or can i buy u a drink

im going to have to use the jaw dropping one lol

GONA BE USING THEM COZ IM COOL

there all right heard better but they work!!

haha cant see em workin though!!

haha was funny to read...

neva good enuf 2 use tho lol!

They say women are from Venus, but I didn't think for one second they'd take it literally!

omg if a lad used any of these on me i wud ask im if he worked in tesco on the cheese counter!! y not jst tlk, chat up lines dnt wrk:@

so funni

haha chat up lines are so funny :p XxfayxX x xx

chat up lines are a waste of time, if u wanna get a girl's attention simply start the conversation then let her talk 4 the rest of the evening...

haha quality, well in lads ;D

nice gona try it

These actually work scary huh!!

haha quite a variety

Great

wow these are great

pretty good!

ohh my god i ca believe tht sum1 would say 'you'll do' 2 a girl thts just arrogant

wow they r pretty good 4 ppl that have no lives ha ha

Haa, my sister and her best mate printed off 5 or 6 pages of these chat up lines and some of them are so corny, who agrees?

Hehe! Some of these are so bad! Sorry! But they're going to be great for a good giggle tonight!

Sorry but none of you can spell

brill i used 2 pulled this hot bird

how funny please

Alrytte but if you wana chat sum1 up without being to drastic about it thn there not guna work :s sorry x

Thanks to these chat up lines

I'm now married

>>>>Congratulations<<<<

Very Good. Might even use some of them. (not)

pretty good sarah joy xxx

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