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Pope Jokes

A Penthouse In Heaven

The Pope dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, Saint Peter shows him to his new place which turns out to be a tiny one bedroom flat.

The Pope is horrified and wants to know why he doesn't have the penthouse apartment, which is huge.

Saint Peter tells him that the occupier of the penthouse is a lawyer.

"A lawyer," says the Pope. "But I'm the Pope, surely I'm more important."

"With respect your Holiness" says Saint Peter, "We have lots of Popes up here, but we only have ONE lawyer!"

The Pope's Limo

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport.

Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile.

Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds onto HWY 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Police in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."

The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it.

"It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" replies the chief.

"No Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important."

"Is it the Governor?" replied the chief. "No! Even more important!" replies the trooper.

"Is it the PRESIDENT??? replied the chief.

"No! Even more important!" replies the trooper.

"Well WHO is it?" screams the chief.

"I don't know Sir." replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."

The Simpsons - Season 12 - Complete [DVD] [2000] from Amazon.co.uk

Plus some interesting Limos