Banking on Friends

Not only did the thieves clean out the tills, but they walked around with bags and ordered everyone to throw their valuables in.

Just as the robbers got to the pair, one of the friends turned to the other and, passing him a bill, said, "By the way, Joe, here's that twenty quid I owe you."

If you go down to the woods today

Two Friends are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"