Laugh your socks off or just groan at the jokes ?
Latest Classic Cars Useful Articles Famous People Amazon.co.uk Dog Kennel Animal House Electric Bike Fun Competitions HMS Victory-Lord Nelson Pink Cadillac Manchester United Flash Games Space Dome Photo Album Poetry Submit Joke Index Latest World News Privacy Policy Site Map

 

  

Maybe this works maybe it doesn't, hopefully it does

Great Collection of Clean Jokes

Jokes 1 - Jokes 2 - Jokes 3 - Jokes 4 - Jokes 5

  Fun Competitions

Christmas Jokes

Entering Heaven
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honour of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's."

Tom And Jerry Christmas Cartoon

A Sign of the Times
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus.

He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.

He is Santa Claus.

Awful Xmas Jokes
How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?
Because he's always in the pole position!
How would you fire Santa?
Give him the sack...
What did one angel say to the other angel?
Halo there!
What did Santa say when his toys misbehaved?
Toys will be toys.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy claws.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What is claustrophobia?
Fear of Santa.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do Santa's helpers learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve
Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus?
A: It looks like reindeer
 

 

Have your say

Rate this Page

Copyright © 2003-2008 - All rights reserved.- Revised: 06/05/08.

 

back to top