Unusual Bird

A man went into a pet store and said to the owner, I'd like to buy a pet that is out of the ordinary - unusual.

The pet shop owner replied, well, I have one Rairy-bird left...

The man said, I've never even heard of a Rairy-bird, that certainly makes it unusual!, I'll take it!

So the man brought home his new Rairy-bird and soon found out that it had a huge appetite! It was always hungry!!

Finally, the Rairy-bird was so big and fat that it wouldn't fit inside the house anymore, much less the cage!

The man said to himself: I've got to get rid of this animal-I can't afford to feed it!

So he rented a huge dump truck, put the Rairy-bird into the back, and drove to the edge of a high cliff. He then dumped the Rairy-bird out of the truck and over the cliff!!

Thinking that all his troubles were over, the man was driving home when he suddenly heard this singing coming from the back of the dump truck:

"It's a long long way to tip-a-Rairy!!

Can Dogs tell the Truth?

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yes, I do," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."