Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

 Drum on every available surface. 

 Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 

 Staple papers in the middle of the page. 

 Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings. 

 Sew antitheft detector strips into people's backpacks. 

 Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 

 Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 

 Specify that your drive through order is "to go". 

 Set alarms for random times. 

 Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 

 Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavour off. 

 Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted. 

 Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 

 Honk and wave to strangers. 

 Dress only in clothes coloured Orange. 

 Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 

 Wear your pants backwards. 

 Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 

 Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 

 Leave someone's printer in compresseditaliccyrilliclandscape mode. 

 ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE

 only type in lowercase. 

 dont use any punctuation either

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 Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 

 Pay for your dinner with pennies. 

 Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 

Write "X  Buried Treasure" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

 Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 

 Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 

 Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 

 Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 

 Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador". 

 Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 

 At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 

 When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 

 Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One". 

 As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 

 Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 

 Finish the 99 bottles of beer song. 

 Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 

 Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat. 

 Drive half a block. 

 Name your dog "Dog". 

 Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 

 Ask people what gender they are. 

 Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 

 Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If not Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl. 

 Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot". 

 Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 

 While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet. 

 Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 

 Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 

 Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 

Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A. 

 Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 

 Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

 Wear a lot of cologne.

 Ask to "interface" with someone. 

 Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing". 

 Sing along at the opera. 

 Mow your lawn with scissors. 

 At a golf tournament, chant "swingbatatatatatatasuhwingbatter!" 

 Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy". 

 Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend". 

 Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 

 Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles". 

 Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket." 

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture". 

 Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 

 Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims. 

 Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 

 Never make eye contact. 

 Never break eye contact. 

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 

 Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 

Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 

 Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 

 Make appointments for the 31st of September. 
 Invite lots of people to other people's parties. 

 Email a copy of this list to everyone you know.

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Comments

when someone tells a joke tell that joke over and over to everyone who heard it

Only reply to people using obscure Chinese proverbs.

funny as!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!