Bumper Stickers

Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap!

I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years

Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong

I plead contemporary insanity

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer

Whisper my favourite words: "I'll buy it for you."

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet

Actions speak louder than bumper stickers

Honk if you love peace and quiet

I can handle any crisis, I have children

Adults are just kids who owe money

My other car is in orbit

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

If this was a horse I would have to shoot it

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me

Its never too late to have a happy childhood

You! Off my planet!

I only look sweet and innocent

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed

Designed by a computer, made by a robot, driven by a maniac

If you can read this my dog thinks your too close

Some cars burn rubber others just burn oil

Here I am and what are your other two wishes ?

How do I set the laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert....

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
You have to be real secure to be seen in a car like this

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done

I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up....

Make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot

All men are idiots... I married their King

Out of my mind... back in five minutes.

All men are animals, some just make better pets

Where there's a will... I want to be in it

Don't be sexist -- broads hate that

I got this Pick-up Truck for my Wife; Good Trade, Eh

Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

This car is protected by an anti-theft sticker ! 

IF ITS TOO LOUD YOUR TOO OLD !!

Honk if you hate noise pollution!  

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead!

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps

Suburbia: Where they cut down all the trees and then name streets after them

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

I was born brilliant; education ruined me

Heck is for people that don't believe in Gosh

Look before you open your eyes

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either

Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!

I may be slow; but I'm ahead of you

Wanted: Meaningful Overnight Relationship

Love for all, Hatred for none

YES this is my truck, NO I won't help you move!

He who angers you, controls you!

Forbidden fruits create many jams

If you can read this you are too close

When I married 'Mr. Right,' I didn't know his first name was 'always.'

You get all this and my dads loaded

If your stupid and you know it honk your horn

I hate bumper stickers!

Never eat more than you can lift

The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem

Amnesia used to be my favourite word, but then I forgot it

What you don't do is always more important than what you do

Your lucky number is 32345543423225. Watch for it everywhere

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they AREN'T after you

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right

To err is human; to forgive is not Company Policy

I'm serious; it was a joke

Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there

It's been Monday all week.?

Don't worry about life; you're not going to survive it, anyway

In theory, everything works

Change a life; make someone feel important

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In God we trust; all others must pay cash

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired

Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes

The world is coming to an end. Please log off

No matter where you go; you're there

Your lucky colour has faded

Conserve water - Shower with a friend

If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

I'm objective; I object to everything

Horn Broke. Watch For Finger

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Live long enough to be a problem to your kids

This is not an abandoned car

It's time to pull over and let the air out of your brain

Caution: I brake for no apparent reason

My other car sticker is funny

Practice safe government. Use kingdoms

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated

Very funny Scotty. Now beam down my clothes

Forget about World Peace...Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!

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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

I'm not as think as you drunk I am

According to my calculations this problem doesn't exist

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

Which came first, the woman or the department store?

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

I took an IQ test and the results were negative

No Radio - Already Stolen

Wink, I'll do the rest!

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Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep!!

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog

Cover me. I'm changing lanes

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

All generalizations are false

I got this car for my wife...not a bad trade

If you can read this, I am parked

I'm not littering.... I'm donating to the earth

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Earth first... We will strip the other planets later

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

I left the womb for this

0-60 in 15 minutes!

Don't laugh it's paid for

Smile.........show off your teeth

I was an atheist until I realized I was GOD

What part of http://www.getalife.com do you not understand?

The squeaky wheel is often replaced

Hang up and drive!

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Overpopulation... too much of a good thing

I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure...

My karma ran over my dogma

Save the planet recycle an environmentalist

I don't drive fast I fly low

Kids in the backseat cause accidents.... accidents in the backseat cause kids.

DANGER: I drive like you do!

A clean car is a sign if sick mind

Beam me up Jesus

Women are born leaders, LOOK you are following one now!

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Don't Follow me I am LOST!!!

Support publik edekasion

I am not speeding I am qualifying

If you can read this I have lost my caravan

My IQ came back negative!

The Second Place Is The First Loser

If at first you don't succeed, try not to look astonished

Madness takes it's toll, please have exact change

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot

Don't laugh; your daughter may be in back

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Condoms are easier to change than nappies!

(Front Bumper) If you can read this, I didn't hit you hard enough

Hey !!! -You're driving a car, not a phone booth

I just filled up my car with petrol. Now it's worth £30.00

If it isn't broke, fix it until it is

Why can't women learn to put the toilet seat back up?

I pretend to work they pretend to pay me!

Don't Drink and Drive!

If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach...your aiming too high.

Lord, please save me from your followers

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There are only three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't.

Friends don't let friends drive naked!!

I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?

So you're a feminist - isn't that cute!

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME

Are you following Jesus this close?

Men are proof that women have a sense of humour

Your village called, their idiot is missing

Can I pay my Visa with my MasterCard?

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

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No prohibiting allowed!

I've been dieting for the past month, but all I lost was 31 days!!