Life After Death

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, sir," the new recruit replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on, "because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

More reasons to not turn up for work

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.