Army Training

I was a new Army basic trainee at Catterick, and one requirement was a demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.

An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would ever come. 'Men,' our sergeant yelled, 'you're doing a fine job. We've already covered four miles!'

Revitalized, we picked up the pace. 'And,' continued Sarge, 'we should reach the starting point any minute now.'"

Idiot

Real Sergeants

Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.

Have a spine.

Can see in the Dark.

Have eyes in the back of their heads.

Still don't trust the Russians.

Still hate the French.

Don't know how to be politically correct.

Don't give a damn about being politically correct.

Love deployments because there is less paperwork and more "real work."

Can run 5 miles with a hangover.

Do not fear women in the military.

Would like to date G. I. Jane.

Still know how to use a buffer.

Can tell you anything you want to know about an M1911A1 although they are no longer in the inventory.

 
Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
 

Don't know how to use a "stress card".

Idolize John Wayne.

Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned.

Really don't like taking it from those who haven't "been there".

Know how to properly construct a field latrine.

Don't need a GPS to find themselves.

Are convinced that "wall-to-wall" counselling really works.

Have more time on the front-line than most others have in the chow line.

Know how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.

Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it.

Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16.

Know that inept leaders will always say they have inept soldiers.