Make the world laugh

Your Jokes

Cleaning up

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Light Bulb

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Elephant

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Older people driving

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Priest playing golf

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Think of a number

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Collie Dog

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Dear Deer

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Mathematical Constant

 

Got a good clean Joke? - Send it in here

Laugh your socks off or just groan at the jokes ?

 

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Great Collection of Clean Jokes

Jokes 1 - Jokes 2 - Jokes 3 - Jokes 4 - Jokes 5

Greatest Joke in the World

More Dog Jokes

How to make a puppy pie

Take one puppy, roll and play until lightly pampered....

...then add the following ingredients.....

1 cup patience....
1 cup understanding....
1 pinch correction....
1 cup hard work....
2 cups praise and 1 1/2 cups fun...

Blend well.

Heat with warmth of your heart until raised or until
puppy has doubled in size.

Mix with owner until consistency is such that owner and puppy are one.

Smart Dogs

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

 

One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

 

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

 

Everyone agreed that that that was pretty smart.

 

The accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.

 

Everyone agreed that that was good.

 

The chemist said that his dog could do better still. he called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.

 

Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.

 

Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your dog do?"

 

The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."  Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker' compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

 

They all agreed that that was brilliant!

Dog Laws

  • If I like it, it's mine.

  • If it's in my mouth, it's mine.

  • If I can take it from you, it's mine.

  • If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

  • If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours if any way.

  • If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.

  • If it just looks like mine, it's mine.

  • If I saw it first, it's mine.

  • If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

  • If it's broken, it's yours.

Comments

I can't stop laughing!


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