Starting Salary

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of University, "What starting salary were you  thinking about?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of £50,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red BMW?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Free Admission

Three college friends, one each from the Universities of Oxford, Cambridge and Loughborough, decided to pool their funds and go to the Olympic Games. The airfare and hotel rates ate up most of their money so they didn't have enough to get into the stadium to see the events.

So they stood around the gate, watching all the other people get in and then noticed that some people didn't have to pay. Whenever an athlete passed the guard with his (or her) equipment, the guard would simply nod and let them through. So the three visitors quickly trotted off to a nearby hardware shop and came back to try to get in.

The Oxford student walked up to the guard and gestured at the long pole he carried. "Pole vaulting," he said, and the guard waved him through.

The Cambridge student, having rigged up a ball to a length of chain, approached the guard next and showed of his wares. "Hammer throwing," he said, and the guard shrugged and waved him through.

The catering student from Loughborough came last, with a roll of chain link on his shoulder. "Fencing."