A Texan died and
ascended into Heaven.
St. Peter met him and
welcomed him saying
"You will certainly
The Texan shook his head
sadly and said "I always thought that TEXAS was Paradise."
St. Peter said "Well,
let me show you what we have to offer."
He took the Texan to an
area that had a beautiful river flowing through it with wildlife and flowers
"Isn't this beautiful?"
said St. Peter.
The Texan replied, "Yes,
but not as pretty as the area around SAN ANTONIO."
Somewhat ruffled, St.
Peter took him to another area where there were rolling hills, whitetail deer
and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush everywhere.
"Now" said St. Peter
"Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"
The Texan paused and
said "Yes, it is beautiful but it does not hold a candle to the TEXAS HILL
COUNTRY in the springtime."
Becoming more upset, St.
Peter then took the Texan to a beautiful white beach, with gentle waves, and an
"Now have you seen
anything this beautiful in Texas" said St. Peter.
The Texan smiled
and said "I guess you've never been to SOUTH PADRE ISLAND".
At this point, St. Peter took the Texan to a
large rock. On the side of the rock was a huge iron door. St. Peter opened the
door and they stepped into an elevator and started going down. As they
descended, it grew more and more hot. When the elevator door opened, it revealed
the fires of damnation-Hell.
St. Peter said, "Now,
have you got anything in Texas that can top that?"
The Texan thought a
moment and shook his head.
"No, but I know a couple
of old boys from HOUSTON that can put that thing out for you"