On the door of a Computer Store: "Out
for a quick byte."
Pinned to an Army barracks door: "Shut the door, stupid!
Not you, sir."
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on
the same spot."
Sign at a Cincinnati zoo: "Do not lean over bars. If you
fall in, the animals might eat you, and that would make them sick."
On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of
the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the
lowest possible prices and workmanship."
On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've
got what it takes to take what you've got."
On the back of a ready meal "Produced in
a factory using nuts" :MS
Bumper sticker seen on an Austin Mini: "The parts falling
from this car are of the finest British workmanship."
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
On a Music Teacher's door: "Out
In a factory workshop "WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN"
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every
night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be
back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our
waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
- Sisters of Mercy"
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your
In a classified ad: "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill
your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the
In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last
person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from
picking flowers from any but their own graves."
Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need
In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
At the dry cleaners: "We do not tear your clothing with
machinery. We do it carefully by hand."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment
necessary. We'll hear you coming."
On a bumper sticker: Keep honking, I'm reloading.
In a classified ad: "Vacation special: Have your home
exterminated. Get rid of aunts."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to
get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
In a repair shop: "We will oil your sewing machine and
adjust tension in your home for $1."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be
cheated when you can come here?"
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you
don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push,
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand
there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be
quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you
smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
More Silly Signs
In a Safari Park:
Elephants Please Stay In Your Car
On A Scientist's Door:
At A Farmer's Field:
"The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand
upside down on the draining board.