Make the world laugh

Your Jokes

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Older people driving


Priest playing golf


Think of a number


Collie Dog


Dear Deer


Mathematical Constant

Laugh your socks off or just groan at the jokes ?


Maybe this works maybe it doesn't, hopefully it does

Great Collection of Clean Jokes

Jokes 1 - Jokes 2 - Jokes 3 - Jokes 4 - Jokes 5

Greatest Joke in the World

Funny Jokes about People



I intend to live forever - so far, so good



Video >> Matrix Ping Pong<<< Video

"Do you want specific information in general or what?"

A man was telling friends how first-aid classes had prepared him for an emergency. 'I saw a woman hit by a car,' he said. 'She had a broken arm, a twisted knee and a skull fracture.'
'How horrible! What did you do?'

'Thanks to my first-aid training I knew just how to handle it. I sat on the curb and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting.'

Q: What does a bee get at McDonalds?

A: Humburger!

Knock Knock who's there? Lettuce... Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and we'll tell you!


"He's disgusting. He smokes like a fish!"


It had been a hot and tiring drive, and the general store in the small California town promised a cool drink and a respite from the heat and tedium.  When I came out of the store, a light rain had begun to fall.  As I stood there, enjoying its refreshing coolness, I noticed that several of the local people sitting on the store porch were looking at me with displeasure.  I asked if there was something wrong.

"Mister," one man drawled, "we'd appreciate it if you'd come up here on the porch.  We've been six months without rain, and we want to
make sure
all of it hits the ground."


"Let's nip this in the butt."


There was 5 mushrooms in a elevator and one of them said, "there's not mush room" - Surfer


A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer.

One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.  "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?".

The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".


"Water over the bridge."


Hane's Law:
There is no limit to how bad things can get.



"You'll know it like the back of your head."


A travelling salesman came upon an old farmer sitting on his porch, next to the farmer was a pig with only one leg. The salesman was about to give his sales pitch when his curiosity got the best of him.

"Excuse me sir, but why does your pig only have one leg?" asked the salesman.


"Well sonny , I'll tell ya. One day I was out ploughing the back 40 when my tractor overturned, pinning me underneath. I was losing blood and thought I would die when that pig came running. He dug and rooted around with his nose till he got me out and he dragged me back to the house. Saved my life that pig did."

"Wow, that's really amazing," said the salesman, "but I still don't know why the pig only has one leg."

"Well I'll tell ya," said the farmer. "One night me and the wife were asleep at about 3am when a fire broke out in the kitchen. Well that pig broke down the door, came into our bedroom waking us up and getting us out before the fire could get us, saved our lives that pig did!"

"Well that's really great but why does the pig only have one leg?"

"Well sonny, when you get a pig
that smart, you don't want to eat him all at once!"


"You can barely see your face

in front of your hand!"


A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe in a distant jungle. The chief comes to them and says, 'The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.'

The Frenchman says, 'I take ze poison.' The chief gives him some poison. The Frenchman cries, 'Vive la France!', quaffs the poison, and dies.

The Englishman says, 'A pistol for me, please.' The chief gives him a pistol. The Englishman points it at his head, says, 'God save the queen!' and blows his brains out.

The New Yorker says, 'Gimme a fork.' The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over the stomach, the sides, the chest -- everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams,
'What are you doing?!'

The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, 'So much for your canoe'


"That's the way the crumble cookies."


Q) You know what the difference is between a smart mountain guide and a Yeti?
A) At least there are reported sightings of a Yeti.


"I don't want to sound like a dead horse."



Marriage is an institution in which a man loses

his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.


"If you could get it working I'd be internally grateful."


A plumber attended to a leaking sink at the heart surgeon's house. After a two-minute job, he demanded 150. The heart surgeon exclaimed, "I don't even charge that amount and I am a heart surgeon."  The plumber replied, "I agree. You are right! I too, didn't either, when I was a surgeon.  That's why I switched to plumbing."


"This is the piece of the puzzle that allows you to paint in the rest of the pie."


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields

People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.




intresting thts all i hv 2 say!!

didn't understand a couple of them

nice 1

ur website is pretty good.

cool page aye

There was an English man, an Irish man and an Australian in a pub talking about there sons. The Irish man said: "My son was born on ST Patrick's day, so of course we named him Patrick" The English man said: "That's incredible! The same thing happened to me too! My son was born on St Andrew's day so of course we called him Andrew." The Australian said: "That is so funny! Exactly the same thing happened to my son Pancake!"

luv Rosie

 (P.S. I'm Australian in case u thought i was bagging Aussie. Peeps out)

the pictures on this site are uniquely funny

this is a good website - Jodie A


lol that's all I gotta say (Twice)



cool sounds gd

haha very good pictures

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