Make the world laugh

Your Jokes

Cleaning up

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Light Bulb

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Elephant

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Older people driving

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Priest playing golf

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Think of a number

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Collie Dog

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Dear Deer

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Mathematical Constant

 

Got a good clean Joke? - Send it in here

Laugh your socks off or just groan at the jokes ?

 

Maybe this works maybe it doesn't, hopefully it does

Great Collection of Clean Jokes

Jokes 1 - Jokes 2 - Jokes 3 - Jokes 4 - Jokes 5

Greatest Joke in the World

Funny Pictures of Animals -1

Funny Pictures of Animals - 2 >>>>

Cats & Jokes & Pics & Amazing facts

Cats & Jokes & Pics & Amazing facts

A man is driving his car down the road and out of nowhere the Easter bunny jumps out into the middle of the road! the man tries to stop but hits the bunny!

The man got out of his car and looked at the bunny, it was dead! he felt real bad as now the children would not get their Easter eggs. about 5 minutes later a blonde drives around the corner. she stops and gets out the car and starts asking the man questions about the bunny.

She ponders on the matter and then says " I think I have something to help" she goes back to her car and gets out a can. She spays the can all over the bunny!

The bunny jumps up and walks about 10m down the road, turns around and waves and carries doing this until he is out of sight! the man asks whether he can see the can, he reads it and it says" makes hair become alive and wavy" !

The Brit in America !

Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

There was an old man in France who used to get up every morning at five A.M. He would then go and sprinkle a white powder on the roads.

When he was asked what he was sprinkling on the roads, he answered that it was elephant powder.

The person then remarked "But everybody knows that there are no elephants in France!" to which he answered "I guess it must be working then!"

Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers - Surfer

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window stating the following: "Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer, and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

A short time afterward, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter, and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

The dog jumped down and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program that worked flawlessly the first time. By this time, the manager was totally dumbfounded.

He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentence about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual." The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"

 

Want to here a dirty joke?

A WHITE HORSE FELL IN THE MUD

 

Want to hear a clean joke?

THE DIRTY HORSE GOT WASHED!! - Surfe

How do you save a drowning mouse?

Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?

 

Coz if they flew over a bay they would be called bagels - Surfer

What does a lion call an antelope? - Fast food

What do you get when you cross some grass seed with a cow?

A lawn moo-er - RAZ

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain

Why did the horse cross the road?

Because he wanted to visit his neigh-bors!

 

What kind of horse only appears after the sun goes down?

A nightmare. - c.c.

What do you call a one eyed Dinosaur?

Do-you-think-he-saurus!

 

Why did the snake cross the road?

To see his FLAT mate!! -  Holly P

 

 

There were two flies on top of a box and suddenly one of them ran to the other side as fast as he could and the other on said way did you do that and he replied it said tear along the dotted line

What other mammal can go faster than a cheetah ?

Movie, Film, Video

 

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Starfish don't have brains

Polar Bears

Q: How does a polar bear stop a VCR?
A: It just presses the "paws" button.

Q: What did the polar bear put on the sign when seals were very scarce?
A: "Tourists Welcome!"

Q: What did the polar bear say when it saw the igloo?
A: "Oooo! I LOVE these things! Crunchy on the outside - with a nice chewy center!"

Q: Why do polar bears win so many races?
A: Because they're always in the "pole" position.

Polar bears are left handed

You can find out more about Polar Bears here

knock, knock, who's there

Alaska

Alaska who

Alaska later i can't see her around

Surfer

A man was driving down the road with 20 penguins in the back of his car. A bobby pulled him over and told him, "Oi, you can't drive around with penguins in your car. Take them to the zoo."

The man agreed and drove off. The next day the same man was driving down the road with 20 penguins in the back of his car again.

The same bobby pulled him over. "Oi," he said, "I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!", the bobby said. The man answered, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies. "

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door.

Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."

What lies on the ground, 100 feet up in the air and smells?

A dead centipede !!- surfer

Butterflies taste with their feet

Two fish in a tank

one said to the other, 'can we drive this'- Surfer

Question: What's round white and giggles ?

Answer : a tickled onion

dee

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Comments

This page had me in stitches! SO CUTE AND FUNNY! Cheered my day right up well done and thanks!!!

wik u ar the best

I think this page is pretty cute and funny!!!! I definitely give this page a 5!!! cherrygumdrop15

i really like the photos it really tickles me

that video is hilarious!!!!!!!1

super funny

how cute my teacher made a joke out of this one before. ha ha ha

     i liked the pics they was funny :P

I thought that the jokes were funny and sorry but I don't have any CLEAN jokes!

hee hee hee i've gotta get one of these as my back ground

If you wanna use a picture please do not link to it

but save it by right clicking on picture using 'Save picture As'

cos your using our bandwidth.

NOW THATS FUNNY!!!!!!!

I thought these jokes were HYSTERICAL ! I like animal jokes ! Thanks

thank u so much u just cheered me up

Hi i really love ur site it is soooooo funny and cute!!! Kayla

hey this is sooooooooo funny but i don't get it ( but the pictures are cute)

I love collecting funny pictures and jokes and this is one of the best pages I've seen! Thank you I've had a rotten day and this page cheered me up!! DUCKS RULE!! love Alice E

Quick Poll

What is your favourite animal ? Results posted as they come in

Lots more votes needed :-)

Dog Video 14
Cat Video 11
Horse Video 10
Tigers Video 6
Dolphin 4
Chinchilla 4
Hamster Video 4
Penguin Video 3
Pony 2

Rabbits Video

2
Tiger Video 1
Polar Bear 1
Hedgehog 1
Giraffe Video 1
Koala Bear Video 1
Duck 1
Ants Video 1
Liger 1
Monkey Video 1
Llama 1

Komodo dragon Video

1
Sloth 1
Zebras Video 1

Funny Pictures of Animals - 2 >>>>

Rating

62

Lots of advice and tips on looking after animals here


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